Hi.

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To be completely honest, I’m not quite sure how to start this. Every so often, I tend to find myself urged to create something. ANYTHING. I’m always determined to keep something up, to make something worthwhile, long-lasting and memorable. But unfortunately for me, that creative spark diminishes almost as quickly as it was ignited. There’s always a trigger. Tonight it was listening to Fearne Cotton’s podcast with Zoe Sugg, where Zoe was discussing how she first got into blogging and YouTube. I was laying in the bath listening and that was that. I was setting up a blog. One that I would maintain and that would be successful, not with many, but with a few that were deeply engaged with my writing. (I’ll leave a link to the podcast below!)

Since finishing my A Levels, where I studied both Art & Design and Photography, I have become evermore demotivated to create, simply because there was no driver for it anymore. I can’t say that I’m the most self-disciplined person on the planet. I try, and when I find a reason I will work a million miles an hour. Currently I work at a school and am in the early stages of teacher training. Knowing that I am making a positive difference in those children’s lives (I hope!) motivates me that nothing has done before. I am constantly thinking of new ideas, methods, approaches and activities for them to get the very best out of the year I’m spending with them… some of my colleagues think I’m slightly mad seeing as I am just a teaching assistant at this stage! Knowing that one day I will have a class of my own one day seems like the most exciting yet daunting challenge… but knowing I still have a good four years until that dream is a reality makes me a little impatient, so I try to do as much as I can now (oops).

I’m also recently exploring life as a truly (ish) independent person. To explain what I mean by this, I’ll have to go back, way back. Growing up, I have always been a romantic at heart. Always dreamed of the cute dates and the magical moments with someone who I could call mine and who called me theirs forever. Unfortunately, that has led me to entering any relationship with the intention of making it last forever… from the get go. I invest myself heavily instantly and I’m convinced that this is THE ONE. A recent experience has helped me embark on a very new journey for me: learning how to be happy, fulfilled and non-reliant on the romantic approval of anyone. Realising that I can be the number one person in my life for now, and how exciting that can be. Discovering doors that I have always locked for myself, and sharing happy new memories with FRIENDS. This is my biggest thing right now, and so far I’m doing really well at it. I’m meeting new people, going to new places and spending my free time in brand new ways. I’ve also reconnected with old friends and it has been so rewarding to talk about and understand some of the happenings that went down during my teenage years with those around me, and now moving forward as young adults.

I plan on hopefully updating this blog at least one per week (we shall see how that goes!) and I look forward to connecting with the blogging community.

Thank you for taking the time to read this first post!

Love Gem.

PS: as promised!
http://www.officialfearnecotton.com/news/2018/12/18/happy-place-zoe-sugg